La Cucaracha
by thesnowyowl13
Summary: Classic Spongebob refrences, Starco trash, total nonesense. I have no regrets. Rated T because I am the real life Safe kid, and rating it for general adolescent stupidity. Probably could pass for a K.
1. BY OURSELVES

It was a dark and stormy night

Just the kind of night not fit for man nor beast nor magical princess from another dimension nor average karate-obsessed earth turd. Which is why Star Butterfly and Marco Diaz were spending it indoors, waiting out the storm and spending their first night alone together in the house.

Mr. And Mrs. Diaz had decided that tonight of all nights they were leaving the two alone for the evening, perhaps because they hoped the poring rain would at least put out any part of the house that Star could possibly set on fire, perhaps they had an ulterior motive, who knows?

And though Marco was okay now with Star he still was not exactly sure how he felt to be trapped for the entire evening in the house with her. Star herself was overly excited. After all, this was the first time she had technically been left _'by herself'_ (or at least alone with Marco) on earth, meaning the Diaz trusted her at least a tiny bit. She felt proud.

"Bye Mr. and Mrs. Diaz! Have a great evening, I promise I won't burn down your house!"

Marco cautiously grabbed the fire extinguisher from the hall closet as he shut the door after his parents and he and Star made their way to the kitchen.

"MARCO can you believe it? Your parents trust me enough to leave me here almost alone, **_BY_****_OURSELVES!_** My parents would never do that, well they did and it didn't turn out that well, but I'm so excited! They trust me! They trust us! Like we're almost adults or something!"

"Yeah that's great Star,"

Marco smiled and tried not to concentrate on the fact that they had, indeed left him alone in the house with a girl. A very pretty girl, he conceded. Not that Marco would try anything, or wanted to try anything, did he? No. Just stupid puberty hormones talking. That's what he told himself.

Star flew around the kitchen excitedly preparing dinner for the two, which she had specifically asked if she could do tonight, even though Marco had been secretly worried she would catch the kitchen on fire. As I said before though, the rain would at least help in putting that out.

"Look MARCO I'm cooking tacos!

_By ourselves!"_

"I'm washing tomatoes!

_By ourselves!"_

"I'm making pico de gallo!

_By ourselves!"_

"I just burnt my arm with splattering grease from the meat!" She cried out

_By ourselves!"_

"Star!" Marco pulled her over to the sink and ran cold water on her arm.

Star's constant reminder of the fact that they were alone in the house was making his nerves frazzled, and then standing close behind her at the sink while he ran water on her arm wasn't helping either. He could feel the heat rise into his cheeks as he tried to swish these new thoughts away, these thoughts that had been increasingly plaguing him, regarding Star. Holding her close, her hair was right under his nose and it seemed so soft and smooth.

"We're applying cold water to my burn like responsible adults.

_By ourselves._" She reiterated proudly looking up at him.

Her eyes shone and they felt themselves getting a little lost for a moment as brown met blue. Suddenly a thunderclap brought them back to earth and they both jumped, as Marco quickly reached over and turned off the sink.

"We shouldn't have water running in a thunderstorm," he said "it could cause a lightning strike."

"Yeah." Star just nodded softly and in the awkward silence that settled around them they finished up dinner together.


	2. The Lake Street Slasher

After settling down on the couch, Marco flipped on the television to see what they could watch while they ate

"Oooh Marco that looks good! Is that a scary movie? I love scary stories on nights like these! Let's watch it!"

"Um Star, I don't think that's such a good idea."

Marco was battling an inner war with himself, his good gentlemanly non-hormone crazed side was urging him profusely to stay away from scary movies, for one, that one wasn't that great, and two, he didn't want anymore possible awkwardness between him and Star that might occur when she got spooked or even surprised. However, his more hormone induced side, was calling to him to definitely turn on the scary movie and enjoy the moment that Star would be up in his arms with the first axe chop. Yet Star was not helping.

"Oh come on Marco, it's not gonna scare me too much no matter how bad it gets, I've battled some pretty frightening monsters. Pleasssseeeee" her eyes turned to 'irresistible puppy dog mode' and Marco was a cooked goose.

"But Star, this one isn't even that great, I mean I know a scarier story than that..."

He stopped as he realized what he had just said and the possible consequences

"YOU DO? Then who cares about television?"

She grabbed the remote turned off the set and tossed it away and jumped closer to him on the couch

"**TELL ME**."

This was far far worse than watching a scary movie, now Star's full attention was on him, and not only that, but she was closer too. He could've distracted himself from thoughts of her if he had his eyes glued to the movie but now she was the only thing there. His hormone crazed side screamed,_ 'tell her one, the scarier the better, impress her.' _And hyperdrive kicked in on Marco's brain.

"Alright" he conceded, looking at her with half lidded eyes.

"Have you ever heard of the Lake Street Slasher?" He said softly.

"The Make Meat Hasher? The Fake Feet Thrasher?"

Star moved closer to him on the couch with each name.

"The Lake Street Slasher."

Said Marco leaning a bit closer.

"The Steak sheet stasher, the snake sweet crasher. The rake tweet masher."

They were almost next to each other now.

"The Lake Street Slasher." He repeated at a whisper.

"Yeah I know I was just teasing you Marco." Star said with a mischievous smile her face very close to his.

"Most people though just called her the La- because that's all they could say before she got them."

"Tell me the story already!" Star sat on her knees facing him on the couch.

_"Many years back, on this very street there was a simple teenage girl, not magical, but she did look like you."_

"Really?" Star scooted in a bit more and Marco felt his blood rushing but there was no turning back now.

_"Yes, just a 14 year old girl, with little to no care for safety. And one day there was a terrible accident."_

"What happened?" Asked Star, her eyes doing some of their trademark shining, Marco briefly felt himself get lost in them again.

_"She didn't cross at the light and was run over by a taco truck."_

She looked at him and shoved him playfully "**MARCO**!" She rolled her eyes "Continue."

_"And now every Friday night when there is a thunderstorm. She returns. To lead others into an early end by disobeying basic traffic laws!" _

Marco's sentence was punctuated by a thunderclap

"or by breaking in and murdering them." He added.

_"There are three ways to know if she's coming for you."_

He leaned toward Star getting really lost in the dramatic moment.

_"First the lights will flicker on and off and then go__** OUT.**__"_

Star bounced a little on the couch as she listened

_"Then the phone will ring, and when you pick it up you will hear La Cucaracha play."_

"What?" Asked Star.

_"THEN, you will hear down the street, the taco truck, the SAME taco truck. Playing La Cucaracha, ominously."_

Marco's voice dropped to a stage whisper as he leaned forward at the same time Star did to hear him better

_"But by then it is too late. She has already come for you."_

They were inches apart now, eye to eye, nose to nose, and Marco could feel Star's warm breath at this distance, blowing softly into his open mouth it was so close. He was breathing heavily, partly from the long monologue he had just completed, partly from the rush of adrenaline of the moment. Just a bit closer and—

***BOOM***

A thunderclap rattled the house making the only two inhabitants jump back suddenly. Bright red blushing faces and awkward coughs making quite clear they both knew what might've occurred.

"THAT WAS AN AWESOME STORY MARCO!" Star gushed with her trademark excitement

"Did you make up that whole thing yourself?"

He leaned back against the couch still sitting awkwardly on the opposite end from her after that moment but smiled proudly,

"Actually it's a real legend that actually happened on this street, it sounds so ridiculous but plenty of people have even claimed to actually see her! Of course that is just silly, it's just a story."

"Yeah and I'm glad it is, no matter how ridiculous it is, it is a little creepy. But it's just a silly little story."

"Yep..."

Marco said the silence filling up the room with unsaid words and actions the previous moment replaying in both of their minds

"Yep..."

Star said softly rubbing her arm, they both knew they would have to talk about it eventually, this thing between them, or perhaps more like the lack of anything between them including space.

"Hey Marco? About that-"

Star began with determination but was cut off suddenly when the lights began to flicker.

"Must be the storm."

Said Marco shifting uncomfortably closer toward the middle of the couch just slightly

"Hehe just like in the story..."

Star gave a nervous laugh also unconsciously shifting closer to the middle point

"except of course they went out."

"Yeah, haha-"

Marco gave his own awkward laugh but stopped as the lights flickered again and then the room was plunged into sudden darkness. A lightning flash outside briefly illuminated the room again as both parties found themselves squashed next to each other in the middle of the couch.


	3. La Cucaracha plays ominously in distance

"I guess I jinxed it."

said Star her voice betraying a slight tone of uneasiness.

"What a coincidence."

Was all that Marco could think to say before he remembered himself and got up to retrieve a flashlight offering a hand to his companion to help her off their shared perch. The touch had an interesting sensation to it, even though they had held hands thousands of times before, or maybe it had always been there and they had just ignored it?

Another thunder clap as they walked toward the kitchen hands intertwined and Star got bold in her fear and grabbed a hold on his arm instead. Two more lighting flashes to see by before Marco remembered his cell phone in his pocket which he could've used the whole time, still he rummaged in the emergency drawer and pulled out the small red torch for Star.

"I guess we should call Mom and Dad."

the young Diaz said thoughtfully looking at his phone, but realizing there were no bars probably also because of the storm.

"Oh, well then,"

he said as he felt Star peek over his shoulder at it, her chin resting there, her soft hair tickling his ear. Now was not the time for this, not a good time for the hormones to act up again. For if there was anything worse than being teenage boy and girl unsure of the platonicness of their feelings being left alone in a house **AT NIGHT,** it was adding being in the dark too.

"Don't you still have the home phone?" Star asked

"Yeah we do I just don't know if it still-"

for another time that night Marco was cut off again, this time by the ringing of the Diaz's kitchen wall phone. Marco with Star still attached very closely turned around and picked it up holding it to his ear as a Star put her head nearby so as to be able to hear.

"Hello?" Marco answered uneasily

All was dead silence on the line and Marco was about to hang up when suddenly a sound broke through the darkness. The faint but ever teasing tune of La Cucaracha as played on an ice cream (or perhaps Taco) truck. Marco stiffened. Star could hear it too. As Marco hung up the phone he simply stared at Star not really sure what to do next.

"La Cucaracha," she started slowly "just like in the story..."

"MARCO, if this is some elaborate prank you got Ferguson and Alfonso to help you pull it isn't funny anymore!"

"I swear Star, that wasn't me! I don't even know what's going on! But we can't freak out"

He said while obviously panicking

"it was just a legend all those people who saw her where old or weird or just crazy, this is all just one big freaky coincidence."

He Almost sounded as if he was trying to assure himself at this point but Star still tried to hold on to his thread of hope.

"Okay, Yeah Marco just a weird string of weird coincidences that just randomly happened I mean maybe someone's hold music is la Cucaracha and we just don't know it and I mean it's not like we're gonna hear it again down the..."

Star cut off from her train of thought as she stood stock still, Marco did too and they both listened. Faint at first, it was soft and barely noticeable but it was there all the same '_La Cucaracha La Cucaracha'_ getting closer and closer and closer with each passing second. Both our favorite teens screamed as Star pulled Marco by the arm up to her room where she knew she had a nine bolt lock on the door. She pulled him inside and preceded to shut it tight as a drum.

"Star, the locks won't matter, she's a ghost."

Star looked at him in horror and pulled out her wand and began to chew in nervous fear, Wait a minute.

"My wand Marco! I can obliterate her with my wand!"

"But she's already dead! And unless you know an exorcism spell off the top of your head we don't have time to learn! But we do have dimensional scissors! We can just escape right?"

"I left them downstairs!"

And it became quite clear that they were stuck. As La Cucaracha played ominously and not too distantly.

* * *

"I'm sorry Marco... I didn't want it to end this way. I mean I didn't want it to end really not until we were like 134 and we both died of Natural Causes sitting in the castle in Mewni watching our great great grandchildren invent an anti aging serum so we could live until we were at least 257..."

Star trailed off realizing what she had just admitted. Marco's eyes just went wide as he realized what she was saying

"You mean, you, and I, and you wanted, and we, and you like?..."

Star's eyes just held the anguish in them he remembered from their first meeting when she had thought he wanted her to leave.

"Yeah... I know you don't, I mean there is Jackie and..."

Marco decided it was now or never, if they were going to die and since Star clearly felt the same then he decided to let the hormones finally take over. Pushing her hair out of the way and holding her chin closer he leaned in and kissed her cutting off her train of thoughts. It wasn't spectacular for a first kiss, they were both very inexperienced and and also awkward but to them it was the most magical feeling in the multi-verse. A longing that had been building up for months, finally being let out. They pulled apart for a bit of air, as they had both already been short of breath.

"Star you don't know how long I've wanted to do that."

But the moment was broken as the La Cucaracha got it's definite loudest and Star rushed to the window to see a shadowy truck stopping right outside. A figure emerged from the passenger side and walked right up to the front door as Star and Marco watched it go inside.

"Well if this is the end Star, know that I do love you and this sounds super cheesy and..."

"If this is the end we're wasting time Marco!"

Star then pulled him in for another kiss wrapping her arms around his neck as the door creaked open and a voice was heard.


	4. Dead Meat

"Well that went better than anticipated, though I really wish you two weren't in the bedroom, but I expected it! Teenagers!"

the voice said with a happy shake of the head. As she called to another pair of footsteps in the hall

"Raf, it worked just like I said!"

Star and Marco jumped back from each other in surprise as they saw at Star's apparently not locked bedroom door, not a ghost, ghoul or banshee. No a living, breathing, happy as any future abuela should be, flesh and blood, Mrs. Diaz in a dark rain slicker and hat.

"MOM?!"

said the young Diaz as he realized very quickly that he and Star were not about to die but were probably dead meat.

Kissing in the dark in Star's bedroom while alone in the house at night? They were probably breaking at least ten rules right there! Well Star said she would give him a little danger, and as he looked over to her he couldn't help but smile stupidly and unregrettedly at what just occurred considering. Star too, looked both relieved and also slightly fearful of what punishment awaited them and also a tad embarrassed. Mr. Diaz came bounding into the room at that moment with a larger emergency light.

"So they finally came around to it ey? That's my míjo! I knew you could get the balls to admit it eventually, and when your mother suggested we pick this night with storms in the forecast to go pick up our new Taco Truck then I wondered if it would work, but it looks like she was right, as always."

He looked at his wife lovingly,

"Actually it looks like you two got a bit farther along then we anticipated!"

Marco and Star both blushed hotly but were thankful that the Diaz parents were not angered.

"Anyway I'm going to go downstairs to call the power company, let's leave the _amantes_ to their fun."

Mr. Diaz headed downstairs his wife about to follow him but she looked at both of them excitedly

"now not too much fun now, I don't want to be an abuela for a few more years yet!"

Then leaving the two teens with awkward faces she joined her husband downstairs shutting the door behind her.

* * *

"UH," Marco began

"Um," Star put in nervously

"can we just skip all the awkward talk of everything and get back to the kissing part?"

"Well it does look like we are alone in the dark again, _**BY OURSELVES**_."

Marco said with a mischievous look and before they could both finish laughing they were back to it, while down on the street a shadowy figure looked on, then floated softly back down Lake Street humming a familiar tune as she went;

'_La Cucaracha La Cucaracha..."_


End file.
